


loving you is a losing game

by lemondroplets



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Arcades, Blood, Death, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Karasuno, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26942821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondroplets/pseuds/lemondroplets
Summary: tadashi yamaguchi is terrible at emotions. he's known his best friend since they were in junior high. after the tall had stood up for him so many years ago, he's never left his side. that is, until he gets hanahaki, pushing himself away from the taller male. what happens when he loses the game called life?
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 20





	loving you is a losing game

**Author's Note:**

> this story is based off the song " arcade " by duncan lawrence. it's pretty angsty & I suggest you listen to the song afterwards! it's also my first time posting here, so please enjoy!

sitting down on a park bench was a teenage boy by the name of yamaguchi tadashi. he was with one of volleyball players for his schools team. though, he was just a bench warmer. it hurt him kinda badly at that fact - but he's managed to get through with it. now with finally being able to play as their pinch server once he was better, tadashi felt like he was actually becoming an importance to the team. unlike before he finally had some use towards the team as a member. 

nose scrunching up, he let a low hum leave him as he looked over at his best friend tsukkishima kei. that boy has been there for tadashi more times than he can possibly count. ever since junior high, he's been lucky to have someone like kei by his side. the two were sitting on the greenettes bed, studying for a test that was coming up in their history class. as the tall blond sat in a bean bag chair, the slight shorter was on his bed. looking over notes and scribbling some small pointers that could be on the test. silence filled the room, neither liked to have noise when they studied. it was peaceful. 

after some time, they decided to take a break. tadashi got up, popping and stretching out his back as the glasses wearing boy stretched out his shoulders. they headed towards the kitchen for a small snack. 

“ what do you want tsukki? I could make us some ramen. ” 

“ mm. whatever is fine, I don't really mind. ” 

with that, the greenette nods. going to get a pot and two ramen packages. he wasn't good at homemade ramen like his mother was, so he used store bought ones. getting the packets and seasoning. as he let a small hum leave him, the tall was sitting on the couch. scrolling through his phone mindlessly. 

getting the food ready, the freckled faced boy accidentally burned his finger on the pot. 

“ owie.. ” he muttered as he ran cold water over it. his breathing soft and gentle. 

\---- 

when back to school, the two boys ended up passing their test. which, made both them and their team captain happy. as practice went along, the team was scattered around everywhere. trying their best to figure out where exactly they needed to practice at. whether it be their serves, receives, sets etc. tadashi sat down against the wall as he felt like he didn't have a place to really practice at. his mind was a blank. 

feeling a hand rest on his shoulder, he gazed up to see the familiar golden eyed boy. tsukkishima was rather cold stoned to look at, but he furrowed his brows before arching one up at the greenette. 

“ hey, what's gotten you so sad looking? ” he asked as he squatted down to look at the other. 

sniffling, his green gaze refused to meet golden. refusing to speak, the male only brought his knees closer towards his chest. head resting on the black fabric that hugged at his knees. transparent liquid trailed down the freckles that littered across tadashi's plump cheeks. his breathing picked up before he felt that same hand rest onto his shoulder. 

still refusing to look over, it was like his body had calmed down on its own. within a minute or so, the greenette was calm. eyes falling shut, he rubbed them. once they opened, nearly everyone had left. was he really crying during the entire practice session? not knowing the true answer, he placed on his black school jacket and his proper shoes that he wore over. once done, he wrapped the green scarf around his neck and headed off. 

sliding in earbuds, it felt so — off not walking home with kei. 

kei. 

that name ran through his head. thinking about the blond, the male couldn't help but feel his chest tighten up. what the hell was happening? shaking it off, he walked inside ; taking off his shoes before going to shower. 

once in the shower, the male slipped out of his clothing and into the bath. his cowlick instantly falling down when it hit the water. fingers going through his locks, tadashi gave a small hum. grabbing the strawberry scented shampoo, he started to scrub his green locks. mumbling soft lyrics as he let the water fall onto him and roll down his freckled back. letting himself slowly calm down, he could feel the salty tears continue fall down as he didn't come to realize it. 

he was crying. 

as he cried, he felt this metallic liquid boil up in his throat. his cheeks puffing some before he finally let it spew out of him. pure blood left the male as he stumbled back. his green hues taking in the sight. he must be dreaming, right? 

right? 

\---

waking up was awful. he felt his face flare up and his body felt weak. getting out of bed, he stumbled around before finally getting his feet planted on the cold wooden flooring. what was last night all about? why did he practically puke up blood? even he couldn't answer that. throwing his bag over his shoulder, he perked up when he heard a knock upon the door. walking over, he answered it. “ tsukki? ” 

the blond had decided to come over a little earlier than he normally would. blinking, the greenette slid his shoes on before walking out towards the taller. 

“ sorry that I came earlier than normal. I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday. ” 

why did his chest feel heavier than it had been before? what was a lot worse than what he felt in the shower. what was this? why was he feeling it? his mind wondered while his thoughts started to drown out tsukkishima's voice. they were all so much. he didn't understand, he couldn't understand. why was he feeling like this around his best friend? was he sick? god. he didn't know. 

before he knew it, they were at school. 

well shit. 

\---

after some research, tadashi found out that he had a disease called ‘ hanahaki ’. it's a one - sided love disease that can only be healed if the person the victim loves returns those emotions. 

it's been three months. he's got a few more left until this entire disease gets to him. one wrong move and he'll end up displaying it in front of everyone. he couldn't. at practices, he'd end up having to sit out because of his coughing fits. when benched, he'd cough a petal of two then crumble them up. he hated this. tadashi couldn't take this pain, this hurt. why must he be in love with his best friend? 

at this point, he stopped walking with kei to school every morning, he stopped studying with him, getting mochi everyday after school. he practically stopped being around him. maybe if he wasn't near the snobby blond these feelings would go away, right? they'd leave and never come back. 

except, they stayed with tadashi. they kept haunting him day and night. eventually, he had difficulty sleeping at night because of the disease. he could feel his entire body want to give up. though, the surgery that still lied as an option wasn't something for the greenette. he couldn't stand surgery's nor operations. so this was a solid pass for him. laying on his bed, sandy yellow petals surrounded him. he could see the blood that laced them. they were so pretty. 

just like him. 

his body continued to grow weaker and weaker by the day. tadashi was fully aware of that. his skin was slowly becoming littered with the sandy flower. the first one blossomed on his neck, then the second on his cheek so on and so forth. that was until one formed in his left eye. a squeal of pain left the weak boy. he felt so, broken, so alone. his heart was beating quicker than normal. so fast that he thought it'd soon stop. 

spacing out, the freckled boy hadn't even noticed that his best friend was in his room now. question after question left kei. wondering why the normally so shy and anxious boy wasn't at school nor practice. it was so out of character for the other. now coming back to reality, he could see the pure fear that was lacing the tallers face. the blood, petals and flowers covering tadashi made a pit form in kei's stomach. he couldn't bare the sight of this. 

“ tsukki.. ” weakly, the other sat up. his voice cracked and dry as he saw the male turn around. 

“ I love you.. ” 

not hearing anything for a while, he felt a ping, no. stab to the heart at the tallers next words. 

“ I'm sorry, but I don't love you. not like that. ” and with that, the blond was out. 

\---

lying in a casket was the body of yamaguchi tadashi. a first year at kurasuno highschool. he was the pinch server and middle blocker for the boys volleyball team. here he lies, dead at the age of sixteen. being covered in flowers, the final one sprouted from his mouth. being almost dead looking before they lowered him down into the ground. all of the team members were heartbroken. even tobio. 

standing by the edge, kei looked down. this was his fault. he didn't love tadashi back in that same way and it killed him. feeling an arm, he blinked, only to see tetsurō come up and hug him. leaning into the ravenettes touch, he turned and starred to walk. he couldn't let those emotions take over, he couldn't feel the guilt anymore. he wasn't weak. 

loving you is a losing game.


End file.
